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More Posts April 22, 2010

Posted by Conrad Hubbard in : The Chip , add a comment

Lately, I have fairly consistently failed to meet my own ideas of what I should be doing as regards new creative works. I have this sense that I am supposed to be writing things, and posting them online, way more often. I think that part of this stems from the fact that I don’t currently have a close confidante that is sharing my day to day thoughts. In the past, I was fairly satisfied to tell my love what I was thinking. In absence of such a presence, however, I have an urge to tell the world if I cannot tell the most important person in my world. I think another part stems from the fact the fact that my brother was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, and this makes me feel extraordinarily mortal. When I was a teenager, I was struck by a car while bicycling to track practice. This permanently damaged my left leg. As I grow older, that leg has gradually caused me more and more trouble. My brother has been brave about dealing with his condition, but finding out about it has given me self-induced cause to dwell upon my injuries and their longterm effects. Hm, this feels a bit like personal bitching to excuse lax behavior. I am going to leave it that way, though, as recognition that I might be doing exactly that.

The Crazy Ones April 18, 2010

Posted by Conrad Hubbard in : Poetry , add a comment

Girl, you said that I just want the crazy ones
and I must confess that I have been to the asylums
for a time or two in my life,
but seriously, even if they seize me most often,
and even if one of them was once my wife,
I don’t want the crazy ones ever again.
No, I want somebody like you,
unless you are crazy too,
in which case I can only say
that I still want you in every way.

Happy Birthday Deva April 13, 2010

Posted by Conrad Hubbard in : The Chip , 3 comments

DevaEight years ago today I was standing in a hospital room in Nashville, Tennessee cutting the umbilical cord of a tiny little baby. Deva Alyssa Winter was born into the world, and I was standing there like every other nervous dad in the history of mankind. Except, that I am not Deva’s biological father. As luck would have it, I had met a woman and fallen in love with her, only to discover she was already pregnant. I almost jumped ship the moment that was revealed, but I thought that we were the right couple and that I should give it a chance. So I stuck it out with a long distance relationship as my then-girlfriend developed all of the signs of childbearing, and I made the drive from Atlanta to Nashville to visit her every weekend. Finally, there I was watching the miracle of birth.

The moment that I picked Deva up and cradled her in my arms, I was a changed person. Unlike many folks, I had never wanted the responsibility of children. I always figured that other people were better parents than I could ever be, and that it was just not something for me. When I held that tiny little girl, swaddled in layers of cloth, I felt the powerful protective instincts of millions of years of evolution sweep over me. Deva’s mother, Rachel, determined that she wanted to raise Deva to think of me as “Dad” and this seemed to work fairly well since Deva’s biological father basically disappeared to Canada and saw her only a single time shortly after her birth. I know he had his own life to live, and that is not for me to judge.

I fell in love with Deva, as a dad, and she took to me as well. I was the one she would usually call out for when she was sick. I was the one that read her bedtime stories, and typically drove her to daycare. As the years passed, when I came home from work, she would grab my hand and insist that I join her in playing with blocks, or her dolls and toy castle, carry her like I was a horse, all of the silly stuff that you do to make kids happy. Rachel used to call Deva a “daddy’s girl” because she would run to meet me when I got home from work, she would demand to go with me to the store, she would try to help me cook, she would even try to help me clean the house.

Sadly, when Deva was 5 years old, her mother took off and left me here. She initially encouraged me to keep in touch with Deva, and I would visit or call when I was allowed to do so. Eventually, for whatever reason, Deva’s mother Rachel cut off contact. Finally I discovered that Deva wasn’t even living with her mom, having been taken in by her paternal grandmother. I tried to reach out to her, but Rachel refused. I still try to reach out to Deva on holidays and her birthday, but her mom seems determined to block this.

Anyway, Deva, I tried again this year to get your mom to let me see you in person, or even just talk to you on the phone, and she ignored the request. I hope that someday you will at least know that I tried. I hope that you have had a happy birthday today, and that everything is going well for you.

Is There a Candidate? April 13, 2010

Posted by Conrad Hubbard in : The Chip , 3 comments

One of the things that I wonder about the so-called Tea Party is: Do they actually have any real candidates? I don’t mean Republican Party candidates or Libertarian Party candidates. I mean actual Tea Party candidates. If they do have such candidates, are they really going to vote for them? Seriously, this is entirely anecdotal, but most Libertarians that I know, who tell me how they vote, historically have voted Republican. However often they proclaim Libertarians philosophies, they don’t actually vote that way when the chips are down. To be fair, some of them voted for Obama in 2008, but that was shocking given prior self-professed records. It seems that Sarah Palin scared them, too. Usually, though, election after election, most of them ultimately decide that a vote for a Libertarian is a vote for a Democrat, and so they vote Republican.

And so, I am serious. How many teabaggers are going to vote for a Tea Party candidate? I suspect there won’t be many. Is there even such a thing as a Tea Party candidate? As an outsider watching them on TV, it sure looks to me like they are being played by the Republicans, who seem to be their primary event speakers. Or maybe they aren’t being played by the Republicans. Maybe they are playing themselves, pretending to be something new and different while actually just continuing to be the same old Republican grassroots they have always been.